For me the No on 1 campaign was never really just about marriage equality. It was always about broader acceptance of me by the state I have always loved. The one that I escaped as soon as I could in 1983 but that I have always returned to and that remains my real home. Maine and I continue to have a passionate and complicated relationship.
So this is what I am feeling early this morning…
Content. I did everything I could and I had an amazing experience. I can’t really ask for more. Well, sure – a win would have been nice. But life is about the journey and this was a deeply personal and moving time for me and I loved every minute.
Optimistic. We are going to get this done. I know that from the conversations with yes voters I have had over the past several days. My favorite was last night 15 minutes before the polls closed. I was in the rain, in the dark, and in a trailer park on Sand Hill (the ultra catholic, Franco-American area of Augusta) talking to my last 2 voters. They were a couple – probably in their late 50s, working class. She had already voted No. He had already voted Yes. He was apologetic and warm and kept inviting me inside to visit with them. He is already with us. He just doesn’t know it yet. He will one day. There are many more of him.
Proud. Of our work. Of my family and friends. I know my mother has been more nervous about this than I have been. That’s what mother’s do. I know my brother is more upset today than I am. Big brothers are protective . My nieces and nephews and their innate sense of fairness is amazing. The support and encouragement I have received from friends far and wide, old and new has been incredible.
Disappointed. I am not gonna lie. This sucks. I really hate that my rights and my humanity are put to public vote and majority rule every year. It’s demeaning in a way that most people probably cannot really understand. Thankfully.
Blessed. Not because I have to fight for basic protections and rights, but because I live in a place and time when I can.
Resolved. We will continue to move onward and upward. I am resilient and so is every other gay man and lesbian that I know. We have been pushed down before (and I don’t mean just figuratively) and we know how to get back up with dignity and keep pushing forward. That is also in our DNA.
I am not sure what is next, but it will be good.
Thanks.
James